Online College Football, 0. Ricky Gervais, 1000 [celebrities hunting you down]

Just because you have the good sense to attend an online college doesn’t mean you should have to miss out on all the fun of sporting events! In light of the college football national championship, Conan O’Brian recently released a video featuring a lesser known but just as important college football league.  Two big name online colleges squared off in what can only be described as the most action-deficient sporting event of the year! Having never played a game before, both teams went into it undefeated.

“Both teams utter lack of familiarity with football was immediately on display. Chaos and confusion reigned including this seven minute play in which both teams simply ran in a circle.”

Click here to see the hilarious video.

Okay maybe online education doesn’t have a future in football, but that doesn’t mean other unconventional teams can’t give it a try. Like Teen Mom vs. Kim Kardashian. Or America vs. The Jersey Shore (how many of us are just dying to knock The Situation down??). Oh I know, how about Ricky Gervais vs. Everyone At The Golden Globes.

I’m sure there are plenty of celebs who wouldn’t mind an excuse to legally tackle Gervais to the ground for his performance at the Globes. I wouldn’t be surprised if Tim [the Toolman Taylor] Allen whipped out an electric drill and did Gervais in, Dexter style.  But he certainly wasn’t the only one on the receiving end of sinister jokes. In his opening monologue Gervais went for the jugular saying:

“It’s gonna be a night of partying and heavy drinking, or as Charlie Sheen calls it, breakfast.”

He continued with,

“It was a big year for 3-D movies…Seems like everything this year was three dimensional, except the characters in The Tourist.”

Yowza! If I was Johnny Deep I might steal some of my Captain Jack Sparrow rum and sail away on the Black Pearl after those comments. Charlie Sheen, on the other hand, was probably thinking “Yep, sounds about right.”

Makes you wonder what James Franco and Anne Hathaway have in store as hosts for the Oscars. They’ll have to really step up their game to top this one. How about sacrificing a celebrity virgin on stage to pay tribute to the Greek God of theater, Dionysus (who is also the God of getting crunk, unsurprisingly). I’m kidding, of course, there are no celebrity virgins.