How Getting a Fashion Merchandising Degree Can Help Stop The Jersey Shore from Taking Over
There is a great pandemic sweeping the globe, a force so strong that like Superman, it draws its power from the sun. I am talking of…The Jersey Shore, whose cast’s tan, leathery skin will no doubt one day be donated to science (or burned in a field somewhere).
The Ed Hardy wearing, poof sprouting, “guido” loving culture (for lack of a better/FCC friendly term) used to have its base at the Jersey Shore on MTV. But, much to the dismay of intellectuals across the country, it’s spreading like body grease across the Situation’s abs. Even respected colleges are paying obscene amounts of money to have them as guest speakers, *coughRUTGERScough*.
There are ways to counter this trend. First and foremost, if you’re going back to school chose a degree to combat the effects of Jersey Shorism. Such as fashion merchandising, whereby you can slowly weed out the Ed Hardy attire found in so many overpriced department stores. Or perhaps you could get into beauty school and start deflating the poof fad that has been increasingly popping up.
You can also take the “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” approach and try to make as much money off of their stupidity as possible. For example, go back to school for a medical degree. While you’re studying you can rest assured that until the day skin cancer is completely cured, you’ll have some serious job security.
Want another way to avoid dealing with the sight of muscle bound juice heads? Try online education. While they’re lubing up their chest so they can squeeze on tiny shirts, you’ll be lounging in your pajamas taking courses that can open up doors to a lucrative career. You can take comfort knowing that the only doors opening for those guys are the ones to the gym.
Of course, there’s still no way to get over the fact that a respected educational institution like Rutgers paid Snooki $32,000 to give sage advice like “Study hard, but party harder.” No, you’ll just have to find solace in the fact that your morals and ethics preclude you from getting blotto on national television and sleeping with anything with a pulse.
