Happy 4th Of July a.k.a the Day After True Blood!
Time to turn on some Katy Perry and listen to “Fireworks” while you gaze up at the electric sky as colorful firebombs go off leaving a wake of sparkles and smoke. The 4th of July is this coming Monday (also known as the day after the second episode of season four of Trueblood). Grab your illegal fireworks, sparklers, and BBQ gear and get ready to celebrate America the only way we ‘Mericans know how; by blowing stuff up!
It’s important that all a country’s citizens know the history behind the day that celebrates our independence. So take a break from those online college summer courses to get the real history of this holiday. It can be best summed up by the following cartoon depiction of actual* events that happened 235 years ago:
This Monday is the day to celebrate freedom. Freeom to watch Real Houswives of Atlanta, freedom to play Duke Nukem Forever, freedom to eat as many chili dogs as you possibly can in one sitting. These are all a part of the American Dream!
Just kidding! No one would ever celebrate Duke Nukem Forever.
The real beauty of the 4th of July, in my opinion, is that like Thanksgiving you have to be near a group of people. But unlike Thanksgiving, they don’t have to be your family! Unless you have a really cool family. And after the sky has faded back to black and the night’s festivities are over, you can look around and be grateful that the British didn’t win. Because if they had the food we eat on the 4th of July would probably be mashy peas and spotted dick. I think we can all agree that not having to eat those is worth the entire Revolutionary War.
*and by "actual" I mean completely made up.
